I’ve known a lot of men, during my high school years I realized I enjoyed hanging out with men more than women. It was always me and the guys hanging out, joking about movies, going to concerts and grabbing a drink. I always laugh more and get the chance to ask ridiculous questions that I’d be shy to even mention around girls. Can’t help it, I love the dudes, I always have and always will. All of this of course goes perfectly with my current job that’s basically… you know? hang out with guys and have a good time, it is pretty fucking amazing.
As you know I’ve been in this industry for about six years now and there are cliché and annoying phrases I keep coming across that get under my skin every time: –“I don’t want to be one of those MFC guys”– (which to me means, –“I don’t want to spend my time or energy on you but I want you to think I’m special and super cool”-) or perhaps the typical –“I just want to be your real friend, be there when you need someone to talk to.”– (AKA –“I want you to give me your free time but I will never spend a penny on you because I’m truly different and no one else is like me”-) and let’s not forget about Mr. –“I just really care about you, I can’t stand seeing you naked it’s undignified”– (The worst kind of guy in my opinion. I mean why would someone go to an adult website to say that? Making comments as if they’re the “good guy”? almost implying that everyone else is a perv except for them, or assuming I’m doing something I’m not comfortable with.)
I lost count a long time ago of the amount of times I’ve read/heard the same comments over and over and well, as you can imagine it pisses me off every single time. Not to mention these comments come only from people that don’t truly support me financially in my job. I mean, I get everyone wants to feel special, valued and important but it becomes a problem for me when people start assuming that because they “don’t fap” (or don’t admit they do which is even worse) they get special treatment, or perhaps the guy that only comes around for a good time occasionally but believes he’s too good for camsites and just sends private messages without interacting with “those guys” (my friends), the people that actually mean something to me.
So what it’s about men? What does “being an MFC guy” mean? Real talk, some days when I get online I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I get a burning desire inside of me and all I want to do is tease and have a good time with everyone around. I feel genuinely turned on, wanting to have the best night where everyone leaves feeling satisfied. Some other days… well, I might not be in the mood, and I notice people are not engaging as much. We all deal with different things in life, not every day I feel sexy or sometimes I just don’t have enough energy, it just happens! During those days when I’m feeling like I lost my mojo “those MFC guys” are the reason I keep going. The ones that are there when they can and genuinely put their hearts into bringing good energy, those names that everyone recognizes because they’re too fucking amazing you know? The type of guy you would totally grab a beer with and hang out for real.
Some days when I get online and see my friends, you know? the ones that are there frequently waiting for me to get online I get a boost of energy. It is impossible not to start developing feelings for the people you spend time with every day, and you know what? I love those feelings and my dear readers, I want to tell you all about it, there is countless stories about the fascinating men that left me speechless over the internet, I guess some people have the power to hit the right spot and leave you with a longing crush.
So going back to camsites you must know (In case you didn’t by now) I REALLY enjoy taking my clothes off, I enjoy teasing and being watched so the whole -“I care about your personality only, please don’t get naked”– is a huge turn off. I know I’m not everyone’s type but if you ended up in my chatroom, it was for a reason, I’m just saying. Now the fun part, what makes all of this whole cam thing amazing and enjoyable… Do you know what I truly like? Do you have any idea what goes through my mind when I’m losing control of my body in the middle of a show? Have you ever wondered what guys say to me in secret tip notes? I respect a man that speaks his mind and is not shy to tell me what’s getting him off while he’s watching me, I enjoy watching their faces when they open their webcams when they start losing control, sometimes it takes a little… sometimes it takes more work but I can say I’m addicted to those facial expressions of pleasure, in fact it is what makes me have the most intense and erotic nights.
Which brings me to the next topic about men, those men that I don’t know about but are there. No BS talking here, it really gets me off knowing the guys watching are enjoying themselves. The times when I’m in the middle of a show and I see more people joining the chatroom. I start to wonder how many of them will have an orgasm that night while their eyes are all on me. I wonder what’d be on their minds if they do and how many of them will stay after they satisfied their hunger for pleasure. Some nights I feel insatiable, but it’s not about my own pleasure… it is about whoever is watching as if I feel some kind of power over them ruling what’s going to happen next and to be honest I like it very much.
That’s what I think about men. Next time we chat I’ll write about those long lasting crushes that stick over the years, there’s so much more I want to tell you but I’m running out of time and I promised myself I’ll post this entry tonight.